Top 10 Reasons for Anxiety About Starting College - University of Chicago

What follows are the top ten reasons for anxiety about starting in college, taken from a 1993 survey of 121 applicants for the position of orientation aide.

Source of Anxiety / Number of students

Placement tests / 44
Workload/being smart enough / 43
Meeting people/finding friends / 40
Roommates / 39
Choosing/registering for classes / 26
Fitting in/being at the right school/happy / 22
Safety / 13
Finding way around campus / 12
Dorm life / 10
Loneliness/homesickness / 8

--Harper Phoenix, 4 (1): 2, 1994.

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Maintaining the Balance - University of Florida

INTRODUCTION

Being a college student can be a difficult balancing act. It is easy to get weighed down with the pressures of academics, social life, and choosing a major and career. If personal problems are piled on top of these pressures, you can feel overwhelmed... and lose your balance.

This information is designed to help you:

• identify some of the ways you may cope with problems
• clarify differences between effective and ineffective coping strategies
• recognize signs of distress in yourself and others
• learn ways to help yourself and others deal effectively with problems
• provide information about resources on campus and in the community.  

Some personal problems you might experience as a college student are:

• Loneliness and Isolation
• Parental Divorce
• Financial Pressures
• Death of a Loved One
• Unplanned Pregnancy
• Identity Confusion
• Pressures from Family
• Medical Problems
• Recent or Past Sexual or Physical Assault
• Cultural Oppression
• Discrimination.  

HOW DO YOU COPE WITH STRESS?  

It's not always possible to avoid personal problems. However, you do have some control over how you deal or cope with them when they occur. In fact, how you cope can make the difference between keeping your balance or losing it completely.

Ineffective Coping Strategies

• Withdrawing from other people and isolating yourself is a common reaction to problem situations. It is a way of avoiding being hurt again by hiding from others what you may feel is your own inadequacy. The problem is, it leaves you with no support.
• Substance abuse, whether alcohol or other drugs, is another coping strategy commonly used among college students to escape from problems, temporarily alleviating stress by self-medicating. Unfortunately; when you come down or sober up, the problems are still there.
• Eating disorders, like anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and compulsive overeating, are used in an attempt to combat uncomfortable feelings. If you have an eating disorder you might be trying to "stuff" your feelings by eating, or "control" stress by controlling your weight through starving or purging. The problem is, the feelings and stress keep returning.
• Acting aggressively towards other people, either verbally or physically, is another negative way you might attempt to deal with stressful situations and feelings. Hurting others only creates further problems, like guilt and isolation.
• Suicidal thoughts, which may lead to suicide attempts, are another destructive way to cope with personal crisis. If you're thinking of suicide you may have experienced a loss of a relationship, self-esteem, or status, such as failing your classes. You may be feeling hopeless, helpless to change the situation, and isolated. Suicidal thoughts and attempts are efforts to cope by permanently escaping a temporary problem.

Effective Coping Strategies

The danger in using ineffective coping strategies to deal with stress is that they can become habitual, even addictive or fatal. They can become a new problem, adding their weight to the balancing act. They never really help resolve the original problem. Most of us use both positive and negative coping strategies in our lives.

There are three important ways to cope with a personal crisis in a positive way:

1. Explore and clarify your feelings
2. Identify and take control of your thoughts
3. Get support by communicating your thoughts and feelings about the problem to someone you trust

TRUSTING YOUR FEELINGS

There are certain feelings common to all of us when we are overwhelmed with stress and pressure in our lives and experience an emotional crisis.

• Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness, vulnerability, fear, loss of control, and a loss of self-confidence. It is a response to perceived threat, like having to perform for an exam.
• Depression is a feeling of deep sadness. It is often a response to perceived loss or failure and it may include feeling powerless, hopeless, or unworthy.
• Anger is a feeling of deep frustration in response to the belief that you're not getting what you want, or that you're being unfairly treated.

Feelings are Normal Feeling anxious, depressed, or angry at times is understandable, normal, and perhaps even unavoidable given all the pressure of college life. It's a way for your body and mind to tell you there is too much going on, you're juggling too many things, and you're not getting enough support.

REGAINING YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Using Feelings

Becoming more aware of your feelings is the first step to resolving a problem. It gives you the option to express your feelings directly and assertively rather than acting them out in aggressive or self-destructive behaviors. Honestly acknowledging your feelings may help you avoid losing your balance completely by warning you to:

Get support
Analyze your thinking
Clarify your needs
Prepare yourself
Get needed information
Set limits
Make changes if necessary

If you feel overwhelmed by a problem, try reaching out to get support before you explore your feelings or thoughts, or before you act to alleviate the problem. It's hard to maintain perspective when you're all alone.

Becoming Aware

When you experience stress you can probably identify the external event or situation which caused it. You may also be able to identify your feelings in response to the event. You may not, however, be aware of the thoughts you have, or self-statements you make about yourself or the event ("I blew it! This is horrible! I'll never make it now!"). These thoughts have a great impact on how you feel and act.

Sometimes your thoughts may work against you. As a result of past learning and experiences, your interpretation of events or thoughts about yourself become distorted. You are no longer thinking rationally, and your perceptions become quite different from the external reality, or from other's perspectives.

Through your irrational thoughts and negative self-statements, you may unknowingly increase your feelings of being overwhelmed. Let's look at some of the common ways we all distort problems.

• Irrational Thinking

Jumping to Conclusions is making a negative assumption even though there are no clear facts supporting the conclusion ("He canceled our date, he must not like me anymore").

Personalizing is assuming external events are automatically being caused by or directed at yourself when in fact they are not ("She's yawning a lot, she must think I'm boring").

Selective Attention is ignoring accomplishments and positive experiences and focusing only on negative events and perceived failures. This colors your perception of all future experiences as you selectively look for only negative results and reactions.

Catastrophizing is exaggerating   the significance of an unpleasant event or events ("I got a 'D' on my first exam. I'm so stupid. I'm going to fail chemistry and then I'll never get into medical school").

Predicting Doom is deciding that failure is imminent before the task is even begun ("I'll never find another girlfriend. I'll never pass calculus").

Shoulds and Musts are punitive self-statements. They are based on the faulty belief that you are inherently bad or worthless. Therefore, the only way to motivate yourself or succeed in life is to beat and whip yourself into shape. You do this by placing unrealistic demands on yourself ("I must never disagree with him or he won't like me. I must be liked by everyone I know in order to feel like a worthwhile person. I should never make mistakes. I should never cry").

Dualistic Thinking is perceiving situations and people, including yourself, as either all good or all bad with no room in between. If your performance is less than perfect, you feel you must be a failure.

Labeling is taking one or two instances of your own or other's behavior and overgeneralizing by attaching an exaggerated label ("I'm a loser... she's a liar").

If you use these distorted thinking strategies, you will inevitably feel angry, anxious, depressed and overwhelmed. Just as we have learned to think in stress-producing ways, we can also learn to think more rationally and calmly. Once you have identified your distorted thought patterns, you can start to replace them with more logical thinking, and feel more in control!

Using rational thinking and positive self-statements to deal with external stress will help you feel more in control of your emotions, more positive about yourself, and better able to handle situations. You may still feel disappointed, but you won't feel devastated; annoyed but not enraged; nervous but not incapacitated with anxiety. You may or may not be able to change the external situation, but you can always change how much it affects you by regaining your perspective.

• Let's look at some rational thinking alternatives...

• Focus on the Present (don't jump to conclusions) "He canceled our date, but he said he'd call tomorrow so there is no reason to think anything is wrong. I'll use the free time to relax with that book I just bought."
• Stay With the Facts (Beware of catastrophizing) "I got a D on my first exam but it doesn't mean I'll fail chemistry. I didn't understand what the professor wanted. I think I'll meet with her so I'll know what to expect on the next exam."
• Be Realistic and Objective (Avoid personalizing) "He's yawning, he's probably tired. It doesn't have to mean that he doesn't like me."
• Be Optimistic (Try not to predict doom) "I'm lonely now... because she's gone. It's natural to feel this way. And even though I may never find anyone quite like her, I'll find someone new and different when I'm ready."
• Be kind to yourself (Don't "Should" yourself) "It's OK for me to disagree with him, it doesn't mean he won't like me. My opinions are valid."

Retain your perspective (Watch out for negative labels) "I may not have won this time, but that doesn't mean I'm a 'loser.'"

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Self-Confidence - University of Illinois

Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect.

Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves.

People who are not self-confident depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They tend to avoid taking risks because they fear failure. They generally do not expect to be successful. They often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments paid to them. By contrast, self-confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they generally trust their own abilities. They tend to accept themselves; they don't feel they have to conform in order to be accepted.

Self-confidence is not necessarily a general characteristic which pervades all aspects of a person's life. Typically, individuals will have some areas of their lives where they feel quite confident, e.g.,academics, athletics, while at the same time they do not feel at all confident in other areas, e.g., personal appearance, social relationships.

How is Self-Confidence Initially Developed?

Many factors affect the development of self-confidence. Parents' attitudes are crucial to children's feelings about themselves, particularly in children's early years. When parents provide acceptance, children receive a solid foundation for good feelings about themselves. If one or both parents are excessively critical or demanding, or if they are overprotective and discourage moves toward independence, children may come to believe they are incapable, inadequate, or inferior. However, if parents encourage children's moves toward self-reliance and accept and love their children when they make mistakes, children will learn to accept themselves and will be on their way to developing self-confidence.

Surprisingly, lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to lack of ability. Instead it is often the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic expectations or standards of others, especially parents and society. Friends' influences can be as powerful or more powerful than those of parents and society in shaping feelings about one's self. Students in their college years re-examine values and develop their own identities and thus are particularly vulnerable to the influence of friends.

Assumptions that Continue to Influence Self-Confidence

In response to external influences, people develop assumptions; some of these are constructive and some are harmful. Several assumptions that can interfere with self-confidence and alternative ways of thinking are:

ASSUMPTION: "I must always have love or approval from every significant person in my life."
ALTERNATIVE: This is a perfectionistic, unattainable goal. It is more realistic and desirable to develop personal standards and values that are not completely dependent on the approval of others.

ASSUMPTION: "I must be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving in all important areas of my life."
ALTERNATIVE: This again is a perfectionistic, unattainable goal and suggests that personal worth is determined by achievement. Achievement can be satisfying but does not make you more worthy. Instead, worth is an inherent quality and all people possess it.

ASSUMPTION: "My past remains all important and control my feelings and behaviors in the present."
ALTERNATIVE: While it is true that your confidence was especially vulnerable to external I influences during your childhood, as you grow older you can gain awareness and perspective on
what those influences have been. In doing so, you can choose which influences you will continue to allow to have an effect on your life. You don't have to be helpless in the face of past events.
 

Self-Defeating Thought Patterns

Subscribing to these harmful assumptions leaves you vulnerable to the following self-defeating thought patterns:

• All Or Nothing Thinking. "I am a total failure when my performance is not perfect."
• Seeing Only Dark Clouds. Disaster lurks around every corner and comes to be expected. For example, a single negative detail, piece of criticism, or passing comment darkens all reality. "I got a C on one chemistry test, now I'll never get into medical school."
• Magnification Of Negative/Minimization Of Positive. Good things don't count nearly as much as bad ones. "I know I won five chess games in a row, but losing this one makes me feel terrible about myself."
• Uncritical Acceptance Of Emotions As Truth. "I feel ugly so it must be true."
• Overemphasis On "Should" Statements. "Should" statements are often perfectionistic and reflective of others' expectations rather than expressive of your own wants and desires. "Everyone should have a career plan when they come to college. I don't so there must be something wrong with me."
• Labeling. Labeling is a simplistic process and often conveys a sense of blame. "I am a loser and it's my fault."
• Difficulty Accepting Compliments. "You like this outfit? I think it makes me look fat."

The following strategies may help overcome such self-defeating thought patterns.

Strategies for Developing Confidence

• Emphasize Strengths. Give yourself credit for everything you try. By focusing on what you can do, you applaud yourself for efforts rather than emphasizing end products. Starting from a base of what you should do helps you live within the bounds of your inevitable limitations.
• Take Risks. Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn rather than occasions to win or lose. Doing so opens you up to new possibilities and can increase your sense of self-acceptance. Not doing so turns every possibility into an opportunity for failure, and inhibits personal growth.
• Use Self-Talk. Use self-talk as an opportunity to counter harmful assumptions. Then, tell yourself to "stop" and substitute more reasonable assumptions. For example, when you catch yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that you can't do everything perfectly, that it's only possible to try to do things and to try to do them well. This allows you to accept yourself while still striving to improve.

Self-Evaluate

Learn to evaluate yourself independently. Doing so allows you to avoid the constant sense of turmoil that comes from relying exclusively on the opinions of others. Focusing internally on how you feel about your own behavior, work, etc. will give you a stronger sense of self and will prevent you from giving your personal power away to others.

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Top Ten Tips to Improve Academic Success
University of Wisconsin -- Stevens Point

Top Ten Tips to Improve Academic Success

  1. Complete reading material for class before the class meeting and outline the reading material.
  2. List questions from the reading and answer them.
  3. Look up words and concepts you are not familiar with and write definitions in your notes.
  4. Attend every class.
  5. Pay close attention in class and take notes.
  6. Ask questions when you do not understand the class lecture.
  7. Work with a tutor.
  8. Form study groups and quiz each other.
  9. Make an appointment to discuss questions about your performance with the professor.
 10. Attend programs and workshops on study skills and time management.

Copyright 1996 by Patricia A. Doherty, Ph.D.

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